The rigorous environment at university is challenging for all students, but can be particularly difficult for perfectionists. Having very high standards can be a helpful motivator, but can become problematic with the style and nature of work at university. Some students may also experience feelings of inadequacy – this is often described as ‘imposter syndrome’.
At university, there is always more that you could learn and explore in your subject area, and therefore students have to work out what is required of them and the skill of ‘doing enough’, rather than ‘doing everything’. Indeed, it is impossible to do and know everything at this level. This adjustment will also likely mean that you make some mistakes – that is OK, and totally normal.
It is important to remember that excellence is different to perfectionism, and to set realistic standards for yourself. You can strive for excellence and achieve excellence without being perfect. In fact, part of being a student and a human being is learning to pick yourself up and learn from mistakes.
Are you a perfectionist?
The following questions may help you to determine whether your standards are overly perfectionistic:
- Are my standards higher than those of other people? Am I able to meet my standards?
- Do I get upset if I don’t meet my standards?
- Do my standards help me to achieve my goals or do they get in the way?
You might also recognise this perfectionistic behaviour:
- Procrastination, difficulty completing tasks, or giving up easily
- Overly cautious and thorough in tasks
- Excessive checking and agonising over small details
- Making elaborate ‘to do’ lists
- Avoiding trying new things and risking making mistakes
Tools to overcome perfectionism
Realistic thinking and perspective
- Lowering standards doesn’t mean having no standards.
- Going after high standards is great, but if you can’t achieve them, how can you be on your own side?
- No one can be a perfect student all the time – approach your studies as a marathon, not a race, to reduce the risk of burnout.
What is self-compassion?
- Relating to ourselves kindly, like we’d treat a good friend.
- Recognising our common humanity – everyone is imperfect.
- Practising Mindfulness – accepting and living in the present moment.
Often we can have the tendency to self-criticise. Frequently this is based on a belief that we need self-criticism to motivate ourselves. This isn’t true – self-criticism actually undermines our motivation.
Instead, it is more helpful to think about how you can be on your own side. Give yourself credit for effort, and try not to beat yourself up when the results are not what you were hoping for. Try to learn from negative experiences and move forward.
Mindfulness can help you cultivate compassion and self-compassion, and research has shown this to improve mental wellbeing, happiness and interpersonal relationships. Visit the Mindfulness page to find out more.
Do you have imposter feelings?
- Do you feel like a fake?
- Do you attribute your success to luck?
- Do you downplay success and discount it, for example by saying ‘it is not a big deal’?
It is very common to have some of these feelings, particularly with the values, expectations and social environment at Imperial.
There are steps you can take to reduce these feelings and cope with them:
- Talk about it – discuss your feelings with a friend. You are likely to discover you are not alone.
- Identify the feelings – notice when you are thinking of yourself as an imposter and how that makes you feel.
- Do your own reality check – challenge your assumptions and understand the difference between feelings and reality. It can help to list your skills, qualities and accomplishments.
- Learn to accept compliments and praise – try to resist giving a negative response, and instead let successes or praise sink in.
Find out more
- When Perfect isn’t Good Enough – a TEDx talk on what perfectionism is and some strategies for overcoming it.
- The Power of Vulnerability – a TEDx talk exploring how we can cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection that we need to embrace our imperfections and to recognise that we are enough, just as we are.
- Feeling Like an Imposter at Work - a podcast from Scientists not the Science exploring imposter syndrom in academia.